Love, Lust and Relationships - The Second Coming

[<3]

Babies are terrifying. I don't mind them when they get their personalities and speech and what have you, but when they are a gurgling shitting mess I just can't handle it. They look so alien and gross. If I wanted kids and there was an option, I would get one that was already house-trained.

I used to think quite a bit of that but it's just not true. Reuben has an awesome personality already, and apart from pooing every now and again, you know, like I do and you do, he really isn't a gurgling shitty mess. He spends the entire time with one eyebrow raised and uses that as both a "yeah, and what?" gesture and a "hey IK'm awesome, and you're just not" gesture. Occasionaly he does it to women in shops and it seems to be a "hey, I know we just met, and this is crazy, but here's my number call me maybe" gesture.

Babies do indeed smell. Would happy spend my life on digs with Dr Grant.

And that's just total shit. I would imagine you must hang out with pretty minging people if all the babies you've met smell. Don't they have baths?

[dangerous_jamie]

We only bath Poppy ever other day because of her terrible eczema. She doesn't smell though.

[<3]

Reuben went two nights without a bath last weekend because we stayed in a hotel with no bath... and yeah, he didn't smell either. But then we didn't leave him sitting in a puddle of snot, vomit and shit so...

[BennytheBigDog]

I think I feel very awkward around babies. Because the parents introduce you to the baby. "This is Keviiiin..." and my instinct is to say "How do you do, Kevin, are you keeping well?" But that's not protocol. So you go "Oh... he's very cute isn't he. He looks like one of you." And then it's "He can burp his daddy's name". "I see, how interesting." "CAN'T YOU KEVIIIIIN? YES YOU CAN, YES YOU CAN." And it's just what the actual fuck is going on here and how much longer can it possibly continue.

I get like that with pets as well. Cage pets, I'm fine. You look at them, they scurry about in their own filth, and that's the end of it. Free-range pets, I'm not so comfortable with. I'll go round a friend's house, ring the doorbell or chap the door or sumat and hear a 'WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF' and a patter of feet and something jumping up at the door, and my heart just fucking sinks. Cos the dog's not there to shake your hand and ask you in. It's there to jump up on you and bark and slobber at you. And it's just staring at you. What do they want? I just think they're rude. If it's a nice doggie that'll sit there and watch telly with you, that's fine. That dog's a good boy. But usually I go round a friend's and their dog mauls me and I just stand there kicking it off as politely as I can, until they offer to lock it in a room for the duration of my visit. And to be honest, what are they actually contributing to proceedings anyway? Fuck all, we're not even in the same genus, we've nothing in common. Why do people keep them around, they are without purpose.

[dangerous_jamie]

You're so wordy, have you ever thought about committing your bullshit to a blog or somewhere I don't have to read it?

[BennytheBigDog]

You don't really have to read it anyway. One's got to ask why you do.

[dangerous_jamie]

Fair point. Foe list.

[Tash]

What do they want?

To trump on your head. Specifically your's.

[jules]

http://www.unbaby.me/

[Fella]

http://www.unbaby.me/

Could have done with this in the Trish days

[Careen]

Babies are terrifying. I don't mind them when they get their personalities and speech and what have you, but when they are a gurgling shitting mess I just can't handle it. They look so alien and gross. If I wanted kids and there was an option, I would get one that was already house-trained.

I used to think quite a bit of that but it's just not true. Reuben has an awesome personality already, and apart from pooing every now and again, you know, like I do and you do, he really isn't a gurgling shitty mess. He spends the entire time with one eyebrow raised and uses that as both a "yeah, and what?" gesture and a "hey IK'm awesome, and you're just not" gesture. Occasionaly he does it to women in shops and it seems to be a "hey, I know we just met, and this is crazy, but here's my number call me maybe" gesture.

Babies do indeed smell. Would happy spend my life on digs with Dr Grant.

And that's just total shit. I would imagine you must hang out with pretty minging people if all the babies you've met smell. Don't they have baths?

With regards to the baby smell, I should clarify that I mean 'the' baby smell. Like it's probably just lotion or formulated shampoo or whatever, but the mothers I know always go on about the top of a baby's head smelling awesome. If it smelt of bacon I might be inclined to agree but it just smells odd. That's the baby smell.

[jules]

I used to have a Cabbage Patch baby that had 'the baby smell' and it really did. And weirdly...the smell never faded.

[Jo]

http://www.unbaby.me/

Could have done with this in the Trish days

Trish? Bloody hell, that takes me back

[Niall]

Any girl I seem to have any interest in always seems to live really far away. Which is difficult to hang on to.

[Bassmonger]

Move house.

[Niall]

Ok. Right on. Thanks.

[<3]

[jules]

My LLR isnt going very good at all...

Him: So you are going to see Stza Crack tonight?
Me: Yes! How brilliant is that?!
Him: But you saw him 2 weeks ago.
Me: And? He is my favourite singer.
Him: But you dont need to see him twice in 2 weeks!
Me: So if Prince was playing at a pub up the road from you twice in 2 weeks...you would only go once?
Him: Yes. Because I dont need to see the same gig twice.
Me: ...............

[Richie]

What's that goit to do with LLR?
It's none of his goddamn business how many times you want to see Stza.

[jules]

What's that goit to do with LLR?
It's none of his goddamn business how many times you want to see Stza.

Cos he is the person I'm in a relationship/live with?

I might buy him a ticket as punishment.

[Duncan]

How do you pronounce Stza?

[jules]

How do you pronounce Stza?

Stizer.

[Richie]

What's that goit to do with LLR?
It's none of his goddamn business how many times you want to see Stza.

Cos he is the person I'm in a relationship/live with?

I might buy him a ticket as punishment.

Buy him two Prince tickets, and see if he goes to just one gig.

[jules]

I just lol'd a lot.

[dan1306]

How do you pronounce Stza?

Stizer.

Is that stizzer? Or styzer?

Or always thought it was sturza