For once, The Vandals have really hit the nail on the head with their lyrics. May I quote a line from ‘Christian v Canadian’: “Someone get me a gun.â€
Please do so I can shoot myself. This is one of the worst records I have ever had the misfortune to review.
Looking back over The Vandals career they have come out with some of the best pop-punk records you’ll come across, with ‘Look What They Almost Stepped In’ being a personal favourite. But the band’s decline has been pretty spectacular. ‘Internet dating Superstuds’ was pretty dire, but ‘Hollywood Potato Chips’ sinks to whole new depths. I don’t think there’s one song on here that I’d listen to twice in a row. Yes, it’s really that bad.
It’s pretty easy to nail down just what is wrong with this album. Everything. The vocals, usually well performed, are desperately in need of a Pro-Tools auto-tune. The drums are often fast without any real reason, while the guitar riffs are turgid and uninspired. Of course the lyrical subject matter is hardly inspiring either (taking in clairvoyants, and a general pissed off attitude), but then it’s The Vandals so you expect that. What you don’t expect is nu-metal-esque breakdowns (see ‘How They Getcha’), shitty covers (‘Don’t Stop Me Now’) or fast for the sake of it nonsensical thrashes (‘Dig A Hole’). Yes, Josh Freese is an amazing drummer, but throwing everything into the melting pot at 120mph just sounds crap. ‘Manimal’ is passable, but hardly a classic, while ‘My Special Moment’ is the kind of song you find on every Vandals record. The problem is there aren’t any memorable songs at all. There are no ‘Jackass’s’, not even an ‘I Have A Date’. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.
While The Offspring have managed to continue dressing like teenage skate punks, despite being old enough to be the grandfather of some of their fans, and pulled it of musically, The Vandals take potty-punk to new depths. Was this record released on Kung Fu (Joe;s label) because no other label would touch it? It wouldn’t surprise me. Even if you’re a die-hard fan, you will be very disappointed with this. It’s absolutely awful.
So, a personal message to the band. Please, please, please – quit now, while some of your fans remember you as the seminal punk band you once were. Now you’re just a joke. And an unfunny one at that.
www.thevandals.com
Kung Fu Records
Paul